SIGNED COPY! Welcome to the wonderful world of beige parenting, where newborns are swaddled in soothingly sophisticated taupe muslin blankies and toddlers play only with wooden toys in shades ranging from oatmeal to sand. In a collection ranging from essays and quizzes to advice columns and poems, she takes aim at buzzy parenting trends such as feeding children artisanal baby superfoods or choosing obscure names for their kids like Tawny and Sorrel. This guide walks new parents through every step of the sad beige parenting journey, from decorating the nursery (take care to choose a suitably existential theme such as the Vastness of the Universe), all the way to the milestone that is the first birthday party (be sure to eschew plastic party favors in favor of hand-whittled wooden to

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